Repose of the Soul

My garden

Quotes from Simple Abundance: 365 Days to a Balanced and Joyful Life by Sarah Ban Breathnach

Day 75:  Self-Nurturing:  The Hardest Task You'll Ever Do

"Why should self-nurturance be so frightening for most women?  Why is it for you?  If you don't think this is true, how many creative excursions have you been on in the last month?  Have you outfitted a comfort drawer for yourself?  Have you been working in your Illustrated Discovery Journal or writing in your Journal of Gratitude?  Perhaps we are all Scrooges when it comes to self-nurturing because if we were kind to ourselves, our creativity might begin to blossom like a plant moving toward the light.  Of course, this would mean we'd want to make some changes in our lives, and we all know how we feel about changes, even positive ones.  We may be in a rut, but at least our own familiar grooves are comforting in their own insidious fashion.  The way to take giant leaps and strides toward our authenticity, however, is through small changes.....Take an honest look at how good you are to yourself....'There is a connection between self-nurturing and self-respect,' Julia Cameron, who wrote The Artist's Way, one of the most important books on recovering our creativity, reminds us.....if you want your life to come together, you have to start treating yourself better.  No one else can do it for you.  Today, make a list of ten nice things you could do for yourself.  Now select one and do it.  You have absolutely nothing to lose from experimenting with self-nurturing and everything to gain."

I made my list--at the top is to be out in my garden--but I could not come up with 10 things!  But then I realized I already live a rather cloistered life that in itself is nurturing to me as an empath, which I take for granted because being cloistered is such a part of my daily life.  This is why blogging is important to me.  It is a way to reach out to others without leaving the sanctuary of my home.  It is something we all need:  human connection.  So you could say writing this blog post is how I am nurturing myself today and why your comments mean so much to me.

The times we are living in right now with COVID-19 requiring social distancing has not affected me all that much--only where it comes to seeing my grandchildren.  Thankfully, we are calling each other using FaceTime on our computers.  I urge anyone who is feeling isolated right now to learn how to use this feature on their cell phones and computers.  I'm sure there is someone in your family or friends who could walk you through it if it seems too daunting to figure out.


Day 76:  What Do you Like about Yourself?

"Like most of us, you see yourself in the mirror every day....I want you to take an inventory of what you like about yourself.  Most of us are very quick to criticize ourselves.  We're always finding things wrong with the way we look.  Today we're going to discover and give thanks for what pleases us....Ask your Authentic Self to bring to your conscious mind all the special things you should discover tonight....Now think about aspects of your personality that you like....if you think you can't find twenty things to love about yourself, go back to the mirror.  Do this exercise every day until you can.  'Nature never repeats herself and the possibilities of one human soul will never be found in another,' the American suffragist and abolitionist Elizabeth Cady Stanton wrote in Solitude of the Self  in 1892."

It looks like I will be returning to this exercise for quite some time until I can come up with 10 things I like about my appearance and 10 things I like about my personality.  Sarah gives us permission, though, to lower our discoveries to just one a day if we can't think of 20.


Day 77:  Accentuating the Positive

"By now you should have discovered wonderful things about your own face and body.  Each of us has at least one special feature that can set us apart.  Do you accentuate your assets?"

Sarah tells about English poet Dame Edith Sitwell, who was born 1887.  She stood out in a crowd because she was so "homely, awkward and thin."  Her world was reduced to the world of literature and music.  She found a kindred spirit in the poems of Algernon Charles Swinburne and went on to become famous for her own poetry.  She also became famous for the flamboyant way in which she dressed.  Sarah encourages us:

"Today, follow Dame Edith's example.  Discover, flaunt, and celebrate your authentic assets."

While you may not be bold enough to flaunt your authentic assets, you can at least own the wonderful things about yourself.

Day 78:  Awakening Sleeping Beauty

Sleeping Beauty, by Henry Meynell Rheam, 1899

"In every one of us there lies a sleeping beauty waiting to be awakened through love...But instead of waiting for Prince Charming to storm the palace gates, you must summon the magic powers of your Authentic Self to break any cruel enchantment that has left you unaware of your own glory."

Sarah tells about a little girl who was made fun of at school because her photograph of her sitting on a pile of garbage had been in the newspaper .  It was during a garbage strike and a news photographer had asked her to sit on a pile of garbage to illustrate how much garbage had piled up.  She was taunted at school for being "just a pile of garbage."  Sarah writes:

"In order to handle this public humiliation, she became numb to her own beauty for a very long time.  Sitting on the pile of garbage was the same thing as pricking her finger on a spindle and falling into a deep sleep.....If that young girl had not pricked her finger, would she have retreated to her bed every afternoon after school and sought comfort in the world of books?  When she became older would she have studied theater to learn the secrets of make-believe?  Would she have traveled to London and Paris to write about fashion in order to learn about style?  I think not, and I should know."

That's because she was writing about herself!  Sarah asks:

"What was your spindle?  Was there a moment when you pricked yourself and fell into a deep slumber?  Or did you just slowly shut down?....It is time to awaken, sleeping  beauty.  Your creativity, imagination, and authentic sense of style are far superior to any sorcerer's spell, no matter how strong.  'One can never change the past, only the hold it has on you,' Merle Shain, (1935-1989) Canadian author, reassures us, 'and while nothing in your life is reversible, you can reverse it nevertheless."

Yes, I know what my spindle was.  It was a succession of many events in my childhood and the "atmosphere" in our home.  I remember vividly wishing I had a family like I saw on the TV shows My Father Knows Best and Leave it to Beaver.  So I set about planning my future life to look like those families.  No one forewarned me that life is not a 30-minute TV show where problems gets resolved before the end of the show!  I had to find that out for myself as I've woken up bit by bit from my deep slumber.  It has taken a lifetime for me, but hopefully, I have many more years in which to live an authentic life.


Day 79:  Repose of the Soul

"Repose is a quality too many undervalue...In the clamor one is irresistibly drawn to the woman who sits gracefully relaxed, who keeps her hands still, talks in a low voice and listens with responsive eyes and smiles.  She creates a spell around her, charming to the ear, the eye and the mind."  --Good Housekeeping, November 1947

"We have all met her, that special woman who draws you into her orbit with a radiant smile.  Her eyes light up as you tell her how you've been.  She attracts men, women, children, and animals, for her complete attention is soothing and hypnotic.  When you walk away from her you feel as if you have been bathed in a beautiful, warm light.  You have.  It's called Love, and this ancient beauty secret is available to all of us.  When we are genuinely interested in others, a graciousness comes over us that is compelling.  'She did not talk to people as if they were strange hard shells she had to crack open to get inside.  She talked as if she were already in the shell.  In their very shell,' the African-American playwright associated with the Harlem Renaissance Marita Bonner wrote of a soulful woman in 1926.  Would that each of us were such a woman.  Would that each of us could become one.  We can....Today, act as if you are a woman with repose of the soul.  Greet everyone you meet with a warm smile....don't rush your encounters...Speak softly.  Listen attentively.  Act as if every conversation you have is the most important thing on your mind today.  Look your children and your partner in the eyes when they talk to you....Lavish love on every living being you meet.  See how different you feel at the end of the day."

COVID-19 is making it more difficult to go out THERE and do this, especially if you are wearing a mask!  But most of us live with at least one other person whom we can practice this on.  In fact, I am going to ask my husband to hold me accountable if I am not "acting as if" I am a Woman of Repose.  And if you don't have someone, you have my permission to have imaginary conversations with people of your choice (No one will see you talking to yourself, so it's OK!) so that you'll be ready when we're all let out of isolation.

Addendum:  Why is it when you set an intention things conspire to overrule your intention??  I wrote the above post earlier today, then took my puppy out for a walk where he bolted after a car.  I lost hold of the leash and watched in horror as he ran along side the car and then veered in front of it.  Thankfully, it was on our neighborhood street so the car was able to stop quickly.  I had to chase him for half a block down the street, yelling his name.  He darted up a neighbor's driveway and realizing it wasn't ours, ran back down and out into the street.  Meanwhile, the neighbor hung back and waited (and watched me, I'm sure, running up the street like a maniac).   I was the antithesis of a Woman of Repose!