Discovering Your Authentic Self

                       

Quotes from Simple Abundance: 365 Days to a Balanced and Joyful Life by Sarah Ban Breathnach

This week has been all about discovery and what to do with what you discover about yourself....

Day 36:  Discovering Your Authentic Self

"One of the surprises that comes when you catch glimpses of your Authentic Self is the discovery that she's such a positive, upbeat woman...She exudes confidence.  Who is this woman, you might ask, and does she bear any resemblance to you?  Yes and no....This is the real you.  If you don't act this way all the time, and certainly I don't, it's probably because we're continually censoring ourselves unconsciously, anticipating another's disapproving opinion of us before we even made our choices.  However, it's really our own censoring that frightens the heck out of us, but we'll handle our shadows another day.  The American spiritual teacher, author and political activist Marianne Williamson believes this will come when we move past our understudy role to become the leading lady in our own lives...Occasionally we get glimmers of what it's like on this higher plane....When moments like these occur, we tend to think that all's right with the world.  Everything just fell into place.  What we don't realize is that all's right with ourselves.  We're in the flow of life and loving it.  We're in place:  that special alignment when authenticity and reality merge into wholeness....How do we access the flow of life more frequently?  Meditation helps...separating every activity with a 5-minute pause...making a mini ritual for every coffee or tea break, so it really becomes a pause that refreshes..find new places to walk...long soaks in baths...smiling at everyone we meet...being gentler with ourselves...catching a stunning sunrise or a sublime sunset and allowing ourselves the length it takes to really see it...petting an animal, playing with a child, having some small pleasure to look forward to every day and being grateful for all of them.  You see?  There are more ways to tap into this feeling of joy and elevation than you thought.  but above all, be open to change.  Welcome it.  'Watch. Wait.  Time will unfold and fulfill its purpose,' Marianne Williamson advises.  'While we wait, we must not go unconscious.  We must think and grow.  Rejoice and dream but kneel and pray.'...."

Marianne Williamson hit the nail on the head when she said we must move past our understudy role and become the leading lady in our own lives.  This pretty much describes how I feel.  I've spent too many hours being an understudy, preparing for just in case the role opens up for me rather than actually starring in my own life.  These daily meditations are helping me figure out how to be a leading lady.  After all, it's really all about chutzpah.  How many people are far less talented than you are, but are well known?  It wasn't just luck.  They had the audacity to think they were really good at what they did and risked putting themselves out there....until enough people noticed them and their audience began to build.  It's the same with our lives.  If we don't put ourselves out there we will miss many of the opportunities that come our way to expand our horizons.  Lack of self-confidence can keep us from trying new things and discovering where our hearts really lie.


Day 37:  Knowing What You Love

"It should be straight forward, this knowing what we love.  But it seldom is.  After decades of letting other people influence us--social media, the magazines, our mothers, our sisters, our friends--we're going to have to go cold turkey.  The only opinion that counts from now on is our own.  This week try an experiment."

Sarah tells us to visit home decor stores and dress shops to discover what we love--make note of them--or I suggest photographing them.

"Remember this is the year for asking questions.  The most essential one we can ask is:  What is it I truly love?  Be patient...Trust that your authentic life will unfold naturally and with grace."

What I have to be careful about is not acting too soon on the ideas I get.  Thankfully, if it involves lots of money I've had to wait and while waiting I find I don't need that "thing" in my life after all.  But I am also finding that if a long-time dream still gets my mind and heart enthused, it's a pretty good indication that it's still what I want.


Day 38:  Remaking Your Own World

"......begin where Spirit did by declaring that there be Light to illuminate our journey of self-discovery.  The Quaker tradition teaches that this Light is within each of us....Quakers...are a perfect example of individuals who manage the delicate balance of living in the world but not belonging to it.  This is because they refuse to segment their lives into the Sacred and the secular.  Instead, Quakers believe that all of life's daily experiences are spiritual in nature, from preparing a family meal to protesting political policy.....Rhythm, reverence and reflection are their hallmarks.  These touchstones can help us as well as we attempt to remake our personal world.  Restoring a sense of rhythm to our lives is the first step....Think of the steady, reassuring rhythm of the natural world--the ebb and flow of the tides, the recurring cycle of the four seasons, the monthly phases of the moon, and the daily progression from day into night....Restoring rhythm to the way you conduct your affairs can bring you contentment and a sense of well-being that will nurture and sustain you when the cares of the world can't be left behind."

I first discovered the Quaker beliefs while making a Shaker dollhouse table to match the one I had in my kitchen.  In reading about the Shakers I mentioned to my husband that was a religion I could participate in, except I was already married and they didn't marry.  He told me that the Quakers might interest me.  I didn't realize they were still around!  So I got a book about their beginnings and fell right in with their beliefs.  An example of how they don't segment their lives into the Sacred and secular is they do not have pastors.  They consider each and everyone a pastor.  They also consider each meal an opportunity to celebrate the Last Supper.  Unfortunately, the modern Quaker has strayed far from its beginnings in many ways.  But that does not mean that I can't carry on what George Fox started when he collected a few friends and the Religious Society of Friends began meeting to worship and seek God's will for their lives.


Day 39:  An Artist is Someone Who Creates

"Most of us feel more secure when we play it safe....Every day we're given chances to embrace the new....Psychologist Susan Jeffers suggests we 'Take a risk a day--one small or bold stroke that makes you feel great once you have done it.'  Today, take a real risk that can change your life: Start thinking of yourself as an artist and your life as a work-in-progress.  Works-in-progress are never perfect.  But changes can be made in the rough draft....The beautiful, authentic life you are creating for yourself is your art.  'Since you are like no other being ever created since the beginning of time,' the brilliant 1930s writer Brenda Ueland reminds us, 'You are incomparable.'  Hold that thought."

If any of you do this--take a risk--please share what you did and how it made you feel.  I have taken risks in my life that made a huge difference in how I felt about myself and what I was willing to take on in the future.  But Sarah is talking about small risks that we can take every day.  The examples she gives involves wearing something bold that you love but haven't dared to wear in public.  Or it might be a totally different kind of food than you usually eat.  I think just the exercise of coming up with ideas would force one to notice more of what's happening in your life.  We do so much by rote, don't we!


Day 40:  You Are an Artist

"Each of us is an artist.  An artist is merely someone with good listening skills who accesses the creative energy of the universe."

Sarah writes about her own artistry of writing, then goes on to quote Erwin Raphael McManus in his book The Artisan Soul:  Crafting Your Life in to a Work of Art:

"Creativity is born of risk and refined from failure.  If we are at the core both spiritual beings and creative beings, then the artisan soul is where we live when we have the courage to be our truest selves."  So it is with creating your authentic life.  With every choice, every day you are creating a unique work of art....The reason you were born was to leave your own indelible mark on your personal world.  This is your authenticity.  Today, accept that you are creating a work of art by making big and little choices between playing it safe and risking....Each time you experience something new, you become receptive to inspiration.   Each time you try something different, you let the universe know you are listening....McManus explains, 'The artisan rejects all that makes us false and takes the huge risk of being true.  To embrace our authentic selves and live in that raw expression of being fully human is our greatest risk and our richest reward.'  Trust your instincts.  Believe your yearnings are blessings.  Respect your creative urges.  If you are willing to step out in faith and take a leap in the dark, you will discover that your choices are as authentic as you are.  What is more, you will discover that your beautiful life is your art."

This meditation had a profound affect on me this week.   It was the line about how experiencing something new enables us to become receptive to inspiration. That is what is missing in my life--something new and different.  It sent me to Zillow to search for a cabin in the woods within two hours of where we live.  And guess what!  I found one!  But it would be a big risk so we're taking our time to figure out the PROs and CONs of buying a second home, especially at our age.   But now I have to take a step back (since I tend to jump feet first when I get excited about something) and see if there are other less drastic things I can do to achieve the same thing--creating new experiences...experiences that I can get excited about.  This will give me choices and I may keep me from making a decision I might come to regret.


Day 41:  A Fresh Canvas Every 24 Hours

"Before a painter begins a new work, she takes preparatory steps to get ready....Of course, we don't see the preparations when we look at her completed work.  We only see the entire vision....Preparatory steps...are also necessary in life if we want to live authentically.  Every 24 hours we are given a fresh canvas to prime to make ready for the vision.  Quieting our minds, carving out time to dream and express ourselves with our true preferences and slowing down to concentrate on completing one task at a time--these are preparatory steps we need to take if we wish to experience contentment....Today, don't rush through your inner preparations as you get ready to set down a piece of your soul on life's canvas."

I'm learning to see each day as a new canvas where I can begin again if things didn't go as I'd hoped the day before.  At the very least I will get good at beginning again....and again.


Day 42:  Creating an Authentic and Artisanal Lifestyle

"It's a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it."  -W. Somerset Maugham (1874-1965) British playwright, novelist, and short story writer

"It's far easier to live an elegant beautiful life when you're not on a budget....But having money does not guarantee that we live authentically.  Or that we make artisanal choices.  Nor does being surrounded by beautiful objects guarantee a lifetime of happiness.  If you receive heartbreaking news, it's not more comforting to sob into a damask and silk-tasseled cushion....When you learn what you can live without, you are able to ask life for the very best because you possess the gift of discernment.  You develop patience that enables you to wait gracefully and gratefully until the best arrives, because you know it will. You can create an authentic life for yourself and those you love because you are able to make conscious, well-crafted choices....Turning away from the world and toward your own happiness is the path of authenticity and the most important choice you will ever make."

Something I've learned is that I'd rather go on a shorter vacation and stay at nicer places, than to stay longer at mediocre places.  I would also rather eat organic food, which costs more, but then rarely go out to eat, which costs even more.  Once you figure out what's important to you, it's not too hard to let go of what you're used to.  And, if you know what you want, there is less of a chance it will be snatched up by someone else while you're still dithering about whether or not it's a good fit for you.